The Pickle Talk
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It's called a pickleball ROAST for a reason (and they didn't hold back)

It's called a pickleball ROAST for a reason (and they didn't hold back)

PLUS: Pickleballers targeted in machete attack + Taking a knife to some of the most expensive paddles

Welcome back, picklers

Read time: ~5 min

ICYMI…this was the pickleball point that shocked the world at the Asia Open Pickleball Championships 2024. Just a hunch, I’d conclude that these are some banger ex-badminton players.

Points for style 😍

Now, on to the newsletter.

How to read The Pickle Talk:

First, don’t click any links just yet. Read it all the way through, and then send it to a friend you think might benefit too.
Next, come back and dive into the links that caught your eye.
Last, go play some pickleball and stir up conversations with your newfound knowledge.

Enjoy :)

TODAY’S BANGERS:

Pickle Talk: Pickleball ROAST, unfiltered.
Bite-Size Pickle: Pickleballers targeted in machete attack, Lululemon + LifeTime, Matthew McConaughey goes pantless in pickleball/tequila AD
Golden Pickle: Taking a knife to some of the most expensive paddles

Let’s get into some... PICKLE TALK 🎙️

Pickleball ROAST, unfiltered.

Alright, pickleball enthusiasts, prepare yourselves for a wild ride because we're diving deep into the world of pickleball roasts.

Now, as a self-proclaimed pickleball lover, I've got to admit something: Pickleball can be downright annoying. I mean, the noise alone could make listening to a choir of screaming babies seem bearable.

But hey, what's life without a little roasting, am I right?

So, in today's edition of Pickle Talk, I wanted to see just how much you all really love pickleball by doing the one thing that's made even the most famous comedians famous: roasting the heck out of the things we love.

You know the saying, right?

You only truly love someone or something when you can roast the living daylights out of 'em. And that's exactly what I asked some of you to do. Go hard or go home, right? So, without further ado, let's dive into the Top Pickleball Roasts:

🤣 ”Pickleball's noise pollution is like an auditory apocalypse, especially indoors. It's enough to make you want to rip your ears off and hurl them into the nearest trash can."

But wait, there's more:

🤣"Playing pickleball is like being trapped in a never-ending nightmare of cacophonous chaos. If I wanted my ears to bleed, I'd blast death metal on full volume, thank you very much."

And how about this gem:

🤣"Pickleball turns players into obnoxious banshees, screaming and clattering like a horde of unruly toddlers on a sugar high. It's like a sonic assault on the senses, and I didn't sign up for this auditory assault."

And don't even get me started on this one:

🤣"Tennis may be a sport, but pickleball? It's like a sad attempt at recreation for those too feeble to handle a real racket. Give me a tennis court any day, and spare me the agony of pickleball's relentless racket."

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. Some of you actually had some positive things to say:

🤣"I love both sports, but pickleball's noise pollution is like a plague upon the ears. It's like the game was designed by sadists hell-bent on torturing unsuspecting bystanders with their cacophonous clatter."

And there you have it, folks: the unfiltered, unapologetic truth about pickleball, served up with a side of scathing roasts.

Whether you love it or loathe it, one thing's for sure: pickleball isn't for the faint of heart. (even us pickleball lovers can admit that (; )

BITE-SIZE PICKLES

1/ ➜ Happenings:

Picture this: a late-night pickleball showdown turns into something straight out of a soap opera when a man, Joseph Devalle, allegedly decides to spice things up by wielding a machete at a Pelican Marsh Community Center in North Naples. The target? A group of pickleball players.

Witnesses claim he came storming onto the courts, fueled by a bit too much liquid courage, shouting and causing chaos. But it didn't stop there.

He then made a dramatic exit to his car, only to return holding a machete and threatening the pickleball players. And get this: his excuse?

He felt threatened, so he decided to channel his inner "macho man." Needless to say, the authorities weren't buying it. Devalle found himself in handcuffs, facing some serious charges for his little performance. Ah, the drama never ends in suburbia, does it?

2/ ➜ Happenings:

(L-R) Tyson McGuffin, Collin Johns, Life Time Founder and CEO, Bahram Akradi, Andre Agassi, Anna Bright, and Ben Johns pose for a photo at the new Life Time PENN 1 next to Madison Square Garden on May 04, 2024 in New York City.

In the chic streets of NYC, pickleball pro Ben Johns and tennis legend Andre Agassi are causing a stir at Life Time's stylish courts.

Teaming up with Lululemon as the official apparel partner, and with CEO Bahram Akradi at the helm, Life Time is making bold moves to elevate pickleball's status. With instructional videos from Johns, members are gearing up to take their game to the next level. It's a partnership destined for greatness, and Life Time is leading the charge to pickleball glory.

3/ ➜ Happenings:

Power couple Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves made headlines with a bold and playful ad for their tequila brand, Pantalones Tequila, saying ‘goodbye' to pants in a cheeky campaign.

The lovebirds, co-founders of Pantalones Tequila, released new videos and images, showcasing them doing laundry and playing pickleball without pants, just in time for No Pants Day.

The campaign also features the Pantalones pickle margarita recipe, celebrating Cinco de Mayo. In the ad, they're seen embracing the fun and spontaneity of their brand, emphasizing that they're all about enjoying tequila without taking life too seriously.